Monday, 17 November 2008

In which I begin to recount my history

I've realized that my blog is boring. This may have something to do with the fact that my life is boring at the moment. Well... Not boring, but uneventful and full of routine, which I am told having a young baby does to ones life. This is fine, I can deal with this for the time being because I get out of it a wonderful beautfiul little boy.

But my blog is suffering when it has only just begun.

So I've decided that for the next few posts I will recount how I got to where I am today. I mean, really, this blog tells you nothing really about be except I'm married, have a baby, am not working, and love sex with the husband.

There is more to me. Really.

So how did I get to where I am today?

Let's start at the beginning.

When I was 4 my family immigrated to America from England (Bristol to be exact) where we flirted from state to state for a good while, even spending a year in France while my father obtained his PhD in computer science, eventually we ended up in California where the majority of my youth was spent. If you ask me I will tell you I am Californian, because although my blood may be English my culture is that of a Californian, and I am proud of it. I consider myself American although I in fact am not an American citizen (we'll get to why later). Here's another crazy fact, I was homeschooled my whole life. Never went to school, ever. I went to college when I was 16 and took some random classes, mostly music classes but never came away with any degree or anything, my attention span is to short for that unfortunately.

Growing up in California was amazing, i loved it, I had a tight knit of friends and we ran the neighborhood even after dark because it was safe. We were good kids as well, never did drugs, never drank, never ran over our curfuws. The majority of the boys in our group were in a garage band at one time or another and now in their 20's are all touring the west coast with their current bands, we are all still in touch and I still very much care for every one of them. The only shadow on my youth was my father, whom other than stating he wasn't nice to me I am not going to discuss him because he is my past, not actively in my life anymore, I've never been happier because of it and I don't even want to waste my time writing about someone who is a waste of time.

But he did drive me mad, to the point of depression which is why as soon as I turned 18 I fucked off too England.

the plan originally was to spend 6 months "discovering myself" and then move back state side, but as I am sure everyone knows, plans always change.

I arrived in England with $3000 to my name, I was young, suddenly legal to drink and a virgin. My late Nana (My fathers mother) lived in Hounslow and offered me a place to stay. There I spent just over a month, doing not much more than writing and crying as I tried to sort out all my emotions and fears. I use to make a point to drink two pints every night because I knew I could and I would sit out in her garden chain smoking through pack after pack of clove cigerettes. I didn't like living there although I loved my grandparents, they were over protective and I felt like I'd left one parents house to only enter another, I wanted to be on my own, learn who I was without other people there.

I went to visit my late Granny and Granddad (My mothers side) who were and will always be my hero's and the most beautiful people I have ever known. While I was there they got me in contact with my cousin.

So I moved out of my Nana's and down too Oxford where my cousins lived. They were a couple in their 50's/60's though I couldn't tell you how old exactly and I loved them. They didn't give a rats what I did, they sat with me in the evening until midnight chain smoking and downing whiskey and voldka. They talked honestly with me and laughed with me like I was equal and not just some stupid kid. I lived with them for 2 months before I suddenly realized I had run out of money and I needed a job.

I had a friend through LiveJournal at this time who lived in Birmingham, a friend I really cared for and felt I could open up to. She helped me find a place to live, my first own place... And with that I headed to Birmingham although I'm sad to say by the time I arrived in Birmingham her and I were no longer friends due to a fall out I will never understand and do not hold against her after so many years, I hope shes doing well...

so there I was, broke, expected to pay rent and feed myself in a shared house full of men... I was terrified. I knew nobody. I was still a nieve virgin. and as they say, I had the whole world at my feet....

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