Friday, 14 November 2008

In which I wonder why they are all the same

I often wonder if all men have the same gene that makes them, at some point in the relationship, feel that they have the right to "give you advice" on how you should act and dress.

Is this just my experience with me or is it a general man thing, no matter how good a man he be?

My husband is excellent, we have generally an excellent relationship, a much better one than the ones I hear about through the complaints of friends. BUT despite that he still ocasionaly has to give me "advice" (and I hate that he call's it that. It's not advice, it's you telling me how to be) on how I should be, the person I should be.

He criticizes my dress sense a lot which I can't understand because I haven't changed my dress sense in the last 2 years (I actually don't have a dress sense.. I just dress to how I want others to perceive me that day. Alternative, Punk, Preppy, Power suit etc. I can pull it all off), But why is he making remarks about the shoes I'm wearing or if my skirt is so short when that is what attracted him to me in the first place?

Also, it is known I have a big mouth, not in the sense that I spill secrets but that if someone strikes up a conversation with me I am totally honest, I don't like to put on a front if someone asks I tell, if they don't like it then we probably wouldn't be good friends anyways. I feel I have nothing to be ashamed of and don't have time for people if they are going to judge me so I'd much rather wear it all on my sleve and let them take it or leave it.
THIS very trait is what Phil first said made him notice me and when he first told me he loved me he told me he loved my youthful honesty.

Now, it's a different story. I talk to much, I tell to much. fuck off. I don't get it.

It's not all the time but he says it in passing sometimes and it makes my blood boil. I do not want someone trying to change me, i won't tolerate it and I am not at all afraid to leave him because of it if this continued or got worse.
I spent half my youth with my father trying to make me someone I was not and then 3 years with my first boyfriend trying to do the same. I've come to far to let it happen again.

I'm not perfect and yes, there are plenty of things that I don't like about myself always, but I accept them and I take note of them and they are MINE to fix, not someone elses.

Silly men.

This all said though, he is an amazing husband, but of course not perfect, as I am not the perfect wife. I am not planning on leaving him, I have never even entertained the thought...BUT these remarks, his opinions, they are not opinions too me, they are direction. Maybe it is because I am sensitive to it because I have heard the same thing from others when they have been trying to change me... Maybe lots of things. Maybe I can't even be bothered to think about it anymore.

I guess the good thing is my confidence is so strong that I am, in fact, amazing that It never makes me worry or hesitate.

Thing is though... although I'm not afraid to leave my husband if something serious happen (not that I'm planning on nor think I ever will) I would so very much miss the sex. The sex is.awesome.

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