I have a pain in my heart. I'm having to work today (usually I only work Tue, Wed & Thur) because one of my colleagues who is chronically sick with SOMETHING (she gets whatever is in the news, last year it was foot & mouth and this year it's swine flu) and so has been off for two weeks, leaving a huge pile of work to build up on her desk, Boss asked me to come in today to clear as much work as I could, I figured why not, although I like keeping my Friday's for Mummy/Son time, I wouldn't mind the extra cash and it's just this once.
Now, usually, on working days I get up at 6am and get myself showered and dressed then have breakfast and pack a lunch, so that by the time Son wakes up (7am) I'm ready to focus on him for an hour and have a bit of play time before we have to leave.
This morning Husband said he would re-set the alarm because he was leaving at 5am. Of course he didn't so I didn't wake up until Son woke me up at 7am. Which meant I had to just put him in the high chair with his Breakfast and get myself ready. Leaving him to his food and morning telly. I was flapping around like an idiot and then as soon as I was ready it was throwing him into some clothes and out the door. I was feeling rushed and agitated at Husband for not setting the alarm, and also already a bit guilty that Son had to go to nursery again even though this was suppose to be "Our day". So I get to Nursery and one of the other kids who'd just been dropped off was having a little hissy fit, so in the commotion they manage to get Son off me and I wave and am out the door hearing as I walk away the cry of my Son.
It was only when I got half way to work that I remembered. I hadn't kissed and cuddled him goodbye! You may laugh but this is important too him. When I drop him off usually I put him down, he has a peek at the toys then comes and gives me a hug and asks for a kiss and then waves and is happy to go off and play, and if I don't do that he is upset all morning (according to the nursery staff).
I forgot! I forgot on a morning when I already had to rush him about and I forgot on a morning when he knows he isn't even suppose to be there! I feel like I failed him. I'm so anxious, I miss him, I feel so bad and I know he'll be grumpy with me when I pick him up as pay back.
I actually have a little post-it note stuck to my purse with a list of things I wanted to blog about but haven't found the time... Stupid life getting in the way. Ridiculous isn't it?
- Cakes and Cars.
- Things will be hard at time, But I’ve learned to t...
- To do, to do!
- I'll make it sweet on the lips, i'll simply knock ...
- I can promise you that by the time we get through ...
- Say cheese!
- I'm just a teenage dirtbag baby
- I've been waiting for you
- These fickle, fuddled words confuse me, Like 'Will...
- What's your fantasy
- A little toddler insight
- Wedding fiasco
- A feast with friends
- A montage
- Cakes by post
- Contentment breeds rebellion and rebellions what w...
- 5 things and a recipe for you
- Stir fry?
- Clear out in all sense of the word
- How did this happen?
- Meet Bob
- A mothers guilt.
- Treacle Scones
- Mummy or me?
- Curry with Flowers... but not like together.
- Winter wonders - Sausage & Potato Hotpot
- Baking Day #1
- Therapy thoughts #1
- ▼ August (28)