Saturday, 15 August 2009

Wedding fiasco

The wedding was...difficult.

Well, this isn't true. The wedding it self was lovely. It was very laid back. BBQ style with 100+ people in attendance. Quite a few kids so Son was quite happy.

The difficult part was my dress.

It began once I put my dress on a realized my -A size boobs did not fill the chest of the dress, leaving me with a gaping hole that if it caught the wind right I could have easily set sail. So, reluctantly, and embarrassingly I had to stuff my bra with socks. The last time I did that I was 12. It was heart breaking, but I have to say effective, and even gave me a nice little bit of cleavage. No one need know.

It's a nice dress to btw. Pinkish. I didn't have a matching bag so I dressed son up in a pink shirt. Gotta coordinate something, ya know? and he's on my hip half the time anyways. It's also a dress that fits tightly around the thighs and has a small slit up the back, which would be fine if you're at a dinner party, or something of the kind. NOT so good when you are having to run after a toddler. As soon as I got out of the car, RRRRIIIIIPPPPP.

My eyes went wide. Husband, being husband, thought that Son had just let one rip (men) but no. My dress has split so that the slit was now precariously close to my bum cheeks. It being a nice summers day, I of course was wearing nothing more than a little thong underneath (pink though! so at least it matched!), you know, to get a bit of free flowing air between the thighs, lovely feeling.

The first half an hour at the wedding was spent with my back to the wall while also trying to maintain an eye on Son. Eventually the bride's mother offered to sew me back up, which I gladly accepted, looking forward to finally being able to relax a bit and enjoy the free wine and food.

Once sewed up I took to the garden, frolicking with Son after a labradore puppy. Until... RRRIIIIIPPPPP.

Oh god. My Friend K's boyfriend was stood behind me and let out a quite chuckle and "oh dear, there it is". Shit. This time it had ripped all the way up to my lower back, leaving my bare bum cheeks and cheeky little thong on display. You know, the thing is, I'm the kinda girl that in the right place this would have be laughed off and maybe even flaunted a bit, but not at a posh wedding where children and adolecent boys were running free. no no no.

Needless to say, we were out of there fast, before I DID become that guest at the wedding. You know the one, the one that when people talk about the wedding it goes a little something like this; "Lovely wedding, the bride was beautiful..." .. "Yes, but did you see that woman flashing her bum!"

No thanks. Not this time.

So I think all in all, we were at the wedding for a full...2 hours? if that. We did manage to eat before we went. So I guess it was a winner in the end. :)


4 comments:

Heavenly Housewife said...

Oh u poor thing :( was that the karen millen dress? I'm so sorry to hear that that happened to u. I think u handled it so well, i wouldnt have even stepped out of the car. U r a good sport

Eve said...

luckily not the Karen Millen dress! Oh if it was I think emotionally I'd still be scarred.

ModernMom said...

Oh you poor girl! At least it won't be one of those weddings you soon forget!

Heavenly Housewife said...

Hi there :), yes, i'm still going to be in london but unfortunately I won't be able to meet up this time because need to do stuff with in laws. Hopefully next time, we need to go to Laduree ;). Email me your email address by the way (donutsmakemethin@me.com) :)