I was so born to be rich

It's probably not widely known, but I hate wedding ceremonies. I know lots of people do and I don't knock you for that, but seriously, those hour and 45 minute ceremonies when everyone and their dog reads a soppy poem or a verse from the bible and I just... I have to fight with myself not to scoff, or roll my eyes, or throw something. I think it's even worse when you know that the couple have already done half the things they promise not to do to each other. Oh, and then they make everyone stand up and sing religious songs that 50% of the guest don't believe in. Seriously, only at a wedding could you get a huge group of people that don't necessarily know each other to sing out loud. Other people proclaiming their love in front of the world makes me gag. I don't know why because if I saw a couple getting it on in the park (and I have) I'd probably root them on. But gooey soppy 'omglikeiloveyousomuch' love. Ceremony love? BLAGH.

I know it seems bitter but it's just how I'm wired. Do you watch the TV show Scrubs? You know Jordan? Dr. Cox's ex-wife/wife? That's pretty much me in a nut shell except minus the great tits.


The point of this was that yesterday Husband and I attended a wedding. A very lavish wedding. Mummy and Daddy are rich so no expense was spared. I dug my nails into Husband's leg through out the ceremony to stop myself from making comments about what everyone was wearing and laughing when they vowed to obey. I'm proud to say I made it through and off we all headed to the Reception. It was a all day wedding. 12pm-12am and they had quite impressively booked out the whole hotel. And what a hotel it was. Talk about luxury. This is coming from a woman who's Husband is in the luxury hotel business... But this hotel, was a whole new level.

The Washbourne Court Hotel (a part of the Von Essen Hotel chain) is a 17th Century old boys cramming school along side the river eye in Lower Slaughter (regarded as the most beautiful village in England) The hotel has traditional beamed ceilings, stone mullioned windows and the most magnificent fireplace in the bar.

The ceilings were only about two inches from my head and there was a lot of hunching going on (and then after the cocktail a lot of head knocking). It is the quint essential historic English farm house, stunning and beautiful and cosy but refurbished in such away that it is swanky and modern. Keeping all the 17th century features and accessorising with funky colours. It was simply fab.

The wedding we were attending was the marriage of Husband's number 2 at work so of course in an attempt to impress the boss booked us into a very plush room. All black velvet with purple and pink accessories, emperor size bed and a roll top bath. I love a roll top bath. Love 'em. And since the beginning of time I have been wanting to have a romantic bath with Husband but in our normal common size bath it wasn't possible. We took full advantage of that roll top. Oh yes.

The meal was simply perfect. I couldn't have chosen a better menu. We began with a little tipple of Cream of Parsnip soup which I have promised Husband I will recreate in the kitchen (it was like silk going down), and the rest of the menu consisted of Goats cheese and caramelized onion tart (ya'll know I love that), Lamb shank with Dauphinoise Potatoes and roast veg and the most amazing lemon tart with lime sorbet I have ever had.

Did I also mention we had canapes of poached quail egg with pesto on toast and free champagne?

I ate it all. In fact I ate so much after dinner I threw up a little bit and had to lie down for an hour. It was worth it because after an hours break in our rooms all the guests came back down for the disco and the buffet... Yes, more food. I don't know how it rolls in America but this is the tradition in England (If you're loaded). The buffet consisted of a whole hog roast, french fries, wedding cake and a cheese board which Husband and I attacked with vengeance. We ate so much blue cheese we both considered making our selves sick so we could eat even more. And then of course we hit the dance floor and you all know how I love to dance white girl style. I tore it up.

All in all, best wedding I've been too. And luckily this time I got through the whole wedding without flashing my bum. Oh snap.