Tuesday, 20 April 2010

Drop 'em

On Monday I had an appointment to remove my birth control implant. Husband and I are trying for our second baby, which I find absolutely strange btw. We didn't actively try for our Son it was a just "well if it happens it happens" kind of thing. But I wasn't like... planning on it... If that makes sense. Now to think every month I am going to be waiting for my period for an entirely different reason, and not only that but sex takes on a whole different purpose in my head. All very strange...

Anyways, I had to have my implant taken out before my husband's boys could get to work so off I went to the clinic.

When sat with the nurse she asked me what I needed and I said thinking I was using the medical term for implant; "I need my IUD removed as my Husband and I want to try for a baby". simple enough, she nodded and continued with the general health questions.

once all the forms were completed she led me to the examination room, pulled the curtain and said "You can remove your pants and knickers now please".

I hesitated. fingers toying at the button on my jeans, nudging them down my hips and watching her confused.

I didn't want to disobey but.... why?

I stuck my head out of the curtain

"you're ready?" she asked

"um... no... You know the implant is in my arm right?"

She didn't say much after that...well she might have but I couldn't hear her through the laughing.

She did say something as I chuckled along and felt my cheeks redden, something along the lines of "Well it's a good thing you said because otherwise I would have been digging around in there for ages"

Apparently, and you probably know, and IUD is a coil, no an implant.

Crapsters. And there I was thinking I was using the clever medical terms. No such luck.

I'm just glad I said something before she got the evil duck lips out.

Wednesday, 7 April 2010


Do you remember my stalker?

I received a disturbing message off of her yesterday:

You might not remember me, we met once for coffee and then lost touch. My Son died very suddenly and without cause 2 months ago, I am still in shock. Just thought you should know.

I'm not sure what to make of this. I am sad. Terribly. Because no Mother can be unmoved by the loss of a child. Someones child. Even if you don't like that someone.

But my paranoid brain is working over time and wondering how her 4 year old has died suddenly without cause...

And then that maternal instinct to reply and comfort because...god.... to loose a child.

Am I am a bad person for continuing to ignore her and for having no interest in getting back into that dysfunctional relationship?

I don't think so, but that doesn't stop me from feeling a little bit guilty.

Excuse me, where is the bathroom?

I was born with a condition. It's a part of me that I have always accepted and embraced, it makes me who I am.
My Husband often cringes from it, and begs me to control it but I cannot help myself.

My name is Eve, and I have verbal diarrhea.

I can't help myself. I have no modesty or shame.

If you ask me a question, I answer it. No hesitation. Even if you would rather have the "socially polite" answer I'm still going to give you the truth. Wanna know how my Husband and I met? I could give you the dulled down romantic version, but no, I blurt out "we had an affair and were really only together in the beginning for the thrill of the sex"... Yes, I used this answer when my boss asked me how I met him.
But you wanna know something? You don't even have to ask me a question, I'll tell you everything anyways. In detail if you like, thought I do draw the line at favourite sexual positions and the like (This is a new quality though after embarrassing my husband at his most recent work Christmas party).

I don't mind being this up front... Not most of the time. I'm often told it makes me approachable, friendly, charming with a child-like air. That's cool. I like being those things. And I've got a wicked sense of humor and quick tongue. Most people realize that as I'm spewing my life story and every minute detail about myself the majority of words that are coming out of my mouth are sarcastic, exaggerated and meant for entertainment more so than they are meant to be informative. But sometimes... Sometimes I wish I could control it.

It's at night when I'm laying in bed that I start going over all the things I blurted out during the day and I start to cringe.
It's the bain of my husbands life thought ironically it was also the first thing about me that he fell in love with. My honesty, the whole "wearing my heart on my sleeve" gig. He loved it, found it charming, endearing and funny. I loved making him laugh.

The tables have turned now though because when I start spewing home truths now a days they are mostly about him. My husband has become the butt crack of my jokes and tales. He handles it graciously most of the time, but there are times when he gets exasperated by my slips of the tongue. rightly so as well when I starts spewing in front of a room full of psychoanalysts (my work colleagues). I'm a gold mine for them, I am sure.

I suppose you're thinking "why tell you husband when you do these confessions of his more private stories in a public inappropriate face, what he doesn't know won't hurt him"... Did you just miss the whole point of this post?

I can't keep my mouth shut.

It comforts my husband too though as he knows I'd never cheat on him because the first thing I would do is call him to tell him the gossip. oops.

Tuesday, 6 April 2010


Wordpress is killing me.

I feel like I'm on the cusp of creating something beautiful and usable and enjoyable and if only I could figure these two last things out. I have a date to video chat my brother in an attempt to get him to walk me through it but OH why must I be so useless with such things?

Soon my lovelies...soon. In the mean time you can expect a post tomorrow from me focusing on my big mouth. I know, you're already salivating for it aren't you? Surely!

Thursday, 1 April 2010


You know how I keep going on about what a slacker I am and how I want to be a bigger part of this community and play a more active roll (because I do love you guys, I do)? And you know how I keep saying this and doing nothing about it? And you know how I mentioned I wanted a new blog design?
Well no more sitting around picking my nose (Eta: I don't pick my nose...least not while anyone is watching... Except my Husband, he doesn't count, much to his own dismay), It's happening.
I'm in the process of moving to Wordpress (YES) and I have created a Twitter account and FB fan page...? I was up late last night video chatting with my brother who informed me these are the things a "good blogger" does. He's been a blogger/networker for years and does it well so I suppose he'd know, right?
So please bare with me but I promise soon I will be able to announce my official move to Wordpress and away from Blogger. I hope you'll all follow me over there too.