Friday, 29 January 2010

Blowing some steam

I'm 25 in a few weeks... I like to remind everyone of this because to me it seems old but I know to you lot (and most of my friends) it makes them want to weep. Obviously not really but I do love saying "Oh, that was way before my time" when discussing things with friends/family. It's my little dig.

Despite being only 25 and the youngest amongst my friends and family here in England, I am often mistaken for being older. And when I say often I mean: Anyone that didn't know how old I was before they met me.

The general age bracket I am placed into is 26-30 at first glance. And upon discovering I am married and have a son this shoots up to 30-35.

Why? Ahem, and I quote: Because only stupid women would marry and have children before they're 30.

Why thank you.

Not only do I look old, but I'm stupid. It's cool. What do you think?
The reason behind this was that before 30 you are too young and immature and not ready and why would you throw your life away that soon?

It is often assumed amongst people that I was knocked up when I walked down the isle and that is the only reason I would marry someone 15 years my senior.

Isn't it funny how the majority of people wear blinkers? I am often shocked at how close-minded people are. And education has nothing to do with it, the above quote was said by one of the Psychologists at my work. A Doctor no less.

It makes me laugh because I hear their comments and then I look at what they are telling me about their lives and although of course I don't know the whole story they never come across as strong as you would expect. And here I am, yes; young. yes; married. yes; a mother. yes; fucking happy.
I know I've said it before but I
dig my life. I made the exact right choices for me.

And I say this without hesitation, I
know I am a far better mother than some of the 30+ mothers I know. Granted two of these mother I know are completely bonkers. But you think my Son is so happy, and clever and brave and strong and confident JUST because we got lucky? No, a big part of that is because we are good parents.

Don't judge me because of my age or how I've chosen to live my life.

And while I'm on that note, there is
nothing that saddens me and pisses me off more than women being nasty to women without any reason other than that they didn't do exactly what you did. I made a comment on my Facebook status about how I really enjoyed Belle De Jour and Billie Pipers interview

and pretty much every straight girl I know (none of my close friends thank god) commented on how they hated them because they were ho's and "not that good looking anyway" ... Shit, try and look a little deeper people. But first, why not try starting with yourself?

Don't tarnish me with your brush just because I like who I am.

/End Rant.


Heavenly Housewife said...

Jealousy daaahling, cause you are so cute :)

tinahead81 said...

you are a beautiful mommy!! i know what you're saying though. i was 22 when i got married, and had my first child @ 24. i'll be 29 in april and people still tell me that i'm too young! WTF? to each their own! we all make the choices that are best for ourselves. all that matters is that you are happy!

Viv said...

I'm going to give you a little background on me...and I'm going out on a limb here, because while it isn't a secret, it isn't up for public discussion on my blog if I can help it. I will turn 30 this year. I have six children, the oldest of which is 12...which means I was 17 when he was born. I graduated from school much earlier than I should have. Fell in love earlier than I should...and so on and so forth. My husband is 37 years my senior. This year will mark 15 years we have been together, and 13 years of marriage. I wish that I had done things a little differently...maybe even a lot differently, but, that doesn't mean that I'm unhappy. I love my husband, our children, and the life we have built together.

It does surprise me how much my family ages me. I frequently get anywhere from 35-40 when people guess my age. That rather annoys me. I too have always looked older than my age, but, not by 11 years...thank you very much. The most annoying is, "I'm 29." To which I get a surprised look, then a quick wink and nod, "29, I see...29." Grrrrr.

The hardest thing about having a husband and a family early on was losing my friends. It wasn't that we didn't care about each other, we just didn't relate. They were bar hopping and I was changing diapers. Now though, as they are starting families of their own, I see the FB friend requests come in with pleading questions like, "how long will my child answer everything with no? Things come full circle...and the rest of the people (like your co-worker) are bum holes.

Eve said...

Viv, thank you for sharing! What an amazing story. And I totally relate with you on the friends front. I've discovered my true friends since having my Son, the ones who get that I won't be out at the raves and still enjoy my company sober!

Although now I wouldn't change a thing, I know if I could do it over I would have waited a couple of years to have kids, not because I didn't feel ready but because my husband and I only had 6 months together before I was pregnant and there were a lot of things I wish we could have done before we had the worries of children.

And regarding your family aging you. yeah... I know I've only had mine for 22 months but when I look at pictures of me now compares to pictures of me before I was pregnant (and only by like a month) I am shocked at the difference. Not so naive anymore I suppose :)

Again, thank you for sharing. I'm really glad you did. :)

Eve said...

HH - NOT nearly as cute as you Mrs. Lawson ;)

Tina - Thank you! I got married at 22 as well. You said it perfectly. Each to their own!

yummy said...

Hello Hunee...

Gosh was that a photo of you?? - NOT old, sooo beautiful and such a gorgeous smile. Just as I imagined you would look actually.

I liked your comment about Belle and Billie. I was lucky enough to write to Belle/Brooke as I was embarking on my own blog (in fact for a while I was on her blogs of note YAY), she is a lovely caring person. Was most encouraging of my writing and sent words of support when I needed it.

Again, she looks like I imagined her too. She is very attractive and can't believe other women would even lower themselves to a 'what good looks like' spat. Blimey we have enough trouble with what the press says we should look like, without us all fighting one another from the inside.

People always like to judge others, it makes them feel better about being in their own bubble. To each their own I say - I try not to judge others unless I have walked in their shoes.

I too am happy with who I am these days - to some I am attractive, to others I am ugly.

As my late Mother used to say "One man's meat is another's poison."

Love Betty x

ModernMom said...

Oh you look gorgeous and young! ANd never listen to women on the rage..that is just their bitterness seeping through!