crisis

You may be wondering where I have been. Lack of posts, lack of commenting... Well for one this weekend has been filled with plans that were made months ago, but mostly and unfortunately I have a friend in crisis. BFF in fact.

On Wednesday she was dumped. Being dumped sucks, I'm told. But BFF is prone to depression and has a history of self harm. So since Wednesday I have been on suicide watch. And when she is not with me I have been on the phone talking her out of it. Emotionally I am drained and I think the only reason I managed to stay strong for her is because Husband has been supporting me supporting her. It's been a really long and scary few days.

The good news is that I can already hear in some of the things she says that she wants help and knows it can get better. She has booked herself in to a Suicide Refuge and is finally able to be distracted long enough to laugh. She still sinks into depression, and her most vulnerable times are in the morning and at night. But I have faith, and I know if we can get her through this first two weeks post-breakup she will get through this.

I'm happy to be there for her and do what I have to to help her through this crisis. But this weekend I was glad I had pre-made plans I couldn't cancel because I felt like I needed that break from her so that I could again build up my strength and positiveness to get through the next week with her.

Anyways, apologies for not being around although I am sure you can all understand. I'll do some serious catching up on my blog-roll as soon as I have the time to focus.

Thank you for sticking by me until then.

What to expect when you are expecting.... The things they don't tell you.

Warning: Some of these can be quite... grotesque, shall we say?

1) During pregnancy you gain a full head of lush hair and loose the need to shave regularly. It's bliss.

2) Once you've popped the little rug rat out, your hair reverses it self. Your hair thins out on top to the point where you wonder if you will be bald this time next year and your body hair becomes so thick you start to resemble your great great ancestors...the apes.

3) Your stretch marks fade. The shadows under your eyes don't.

4) Your breast along with your nipples and areola double in size.

5) As soon as you stop breastfeeding your breasts disappear... BUT your nipples stay the same. Leaving you with breasts that look more like fried eggs...sunny side up.

6) Suddenly you can insert a tampon standing up, legs crossed, while clenching.

7) While pregnant you have the pregnancy glow; clear skin. As soon as your baby is out though prepare for puberty to hit your face all.over.again.

8) If you pull the loose skin on your stomach as far as you can you could set a boat to sail.

9) After using the toilet, while wiping if you're not careful you might accidentally "slip in"

10) Even if you loose all the baby weight and tone up there is something about your body that every time you look at it scream "You're a mummy now!"

11) You begin to compare things. For example, if you are in great pain you remind yourself that this wasn't as bad as labor. If you have to carry something heavy you compare it too the current weight of your toddler.

And finally, while brainstorming for this post I asked my BFF for help in the form of "What do I complain to you about?" and she replied with the following.

12) Your baby is attached to you in your womb then he is constantly attached to your breast, then your hip, then your legs and finally to your wallet, for the rest.of.your.life.


Have I really said that?.... Not totally surprising.

Awards, Vampires and Ovulating... really.

Last night I worked the Walpole Awards of Excellence which my cousin was organizing. It was a long 14 hour shift, non-stop on our feet workworkwork, smilesmilesmile. It was great fun but my body is paying for it now. Everything aches, but we had great fun. My Cousin's daughter (who I will refer to as Cuz, from now on, because that's what we call each other) and her platonic life partner (her best friend is a fella and she's pretty much a gay as they come) who are both my age, were there as well and we always have lots of fun. Made a bit of extra cash for Christmas (which is always needed) and also got an awesome goodie bag... most of the day was spent stuffing goodie bags for all these "exclusive" people... Goodies bag worth a good £100. The luxury items we were stuffing in those things! It's so odd to think that all those people with all that money get more free shit than I will ever get in my lifetime... No wonder they've got money, they don't need to spend it!

Ahem, anyways. Yes, I've been very busy this weekend turning into a teenage.

How?

One word.

Twilight.

I've neglected reading the books or seeing the movie for a long time. Refusing to be a part of the Twilight craze and become "one of them". Mostly this is because I had a friend tell me the books were painful to read and made me promise not to waste my time on them. So I easily agreed, avoiding yet another fandom.

And then, Sunday, my work colleague some how convinced me to let her come over to my house and we'd watch the movie. I bitched and moaned through most of the beginning scenes, complaining about teen movies and fanatics... And then suddenly, just like that, my throat closed and my mouth went dry.

Enter Edward Cullen.

Now. Generally, I am hard to swoon. I can definitely appreciate a good looking fellow, but I'm hard to flap. And I definitely do NOT squee anymore. SURE I had my fandoms and celebrity crushes (obsessions) and my posters on the wall, but you know, I grew out of that, somewhere around the time I started menstruating. So when Edward Cullen walked into the school cafeteria in that first scene and he looks broody and suicidal and murderous and sickly pale and has creepy red lips and I instantaneously started ovulating and getting hot flashes... Well. I was just as shocked as my husband was when I let out a breathy "Wow".

Now, I must insist this is so unlike me. Firstly, I like older men (obviously). Secondly, I really can't stress this enough. I do.not.fangirl. The other thing is... like looking at that picture of him now. He's not drop dead gorgeous, he wouldn't stop me in my tracks if we passed in the street... But Edward Cullen is a Vampire and I would be quite happy to let him feed off me.

The whole movie just oozed this broody, aggressive, blood thirsty, protective, I-might-kill-you-at-any-moment atmosphere. His eyes....I take my hat off to Robert Pattinson (who I keep calling James, but does it really matter because it's not him I want) for making me twitch in my seat and cross and un-cross my legs a dozen times, and continuously clear my throat and have my hand subconsciously stroking my neck. It's been a long while since I've felt that first excitement and it was very much enjoyed. And although, yes, I'm slightly embarrassed by my new found obsession and become one of many, I'm also quite excited about enjoying this.

I now am going to have to read the book, though I am still nervous too as I'm quite the critic and I don't know if i'll be able to stomach the teenbop writing style I have been warned off. I'll let you know how my journey with Edward Cullen goes once reading.

Ah, also of course once again I always seem to know someone that knows someone. While embarking on shamefully telling my Cuz about my new found obsession with the broody vampire (which I got a lot of stick for) Cuz tells me her BFF is old school friends with James (Robert Pattinson...Who apparently despises being famous) and then offered an invite to the next get together to which I politely refused because I'd rather he not ruin my perfectly dark and seedy fantasy with one Edward Cullen. And of course not sure how Husband would feel about me going to hang out with the man that made me whimper on Sunday night.

There is nothing hotter than a broody, dangerous man to bring out my dark side and relish in it with me.

Two psychiatrists pass in the hall.

The first says, "Hello."The other thinks, "I wonder what he meant by that."

Here's a little something I've learned while working with therapists: Therapist don't understand the meaning of a rhetorical question.

If you ask a therapist "How are you?", They'll tell you.

And by making this mistake I have also discovered the cliche of "Every therapist needs and therapist" is true.

At work a quick "Good morning! How ya doin'?" Can turn into a 30 minute conversation about how they are feeling light headed today because their period is particularly heavy and seemed to be quite "thick" too and they are worried they might be loosing too much blood (True account here people).

Also it seems there are different types of therapists. The Clinical/Counselling Psychologist tend to be pretty normal people, or at least interact normally. Psychiatrists tend to be above it all and so far are the only therapists that insist on being addressed as Doctor... At.all.times. And Psychologists? Let's just say be careful of what you say around them. I once had one of the Psychologists at work dissect why I wanted a cup of tea and what an interesting dynamic I had set by stating it aloud. Actually, I'm often setting interesting dynamics even when I have done nothing... EVERYTHING in the whole WIDE WORLD is an interesting dynamic to these people. And EVERYTHING can be read into. It can be quite fun actually, if you enjoy messing with people a bit. I am often dropping out of place words/sayings into conversation just so they can enjoy pondering on that shit for a good 20 minutes.

I have to close here with that I absolutely love all the people I work with. They are wonderful, funny, smart, fun people. They are also quite easy to take the piss out off. And don't worry, I do it too their face as well.

The Difference between you and me? I make this look good.

I have one of those rare talents, that you either have or you don't have. There is no in between or "maybe"'s with this. You've got it or you don't. I've got it. I can wear hats.

I love hats in fact. In my teens I had more hats than I had shoes. And I had every kind of hat and style there was. And I pulled them off, teaming them with the appropriate outfit and walk. I also have a gift for not getting serious hat hair. Not sure how this happened but it did and I took advantage of it.

I hope you don't mind while I share with you some of my favourite styles of hats.

One of my beach favourites. The floppy. I love love this hat because it is so chic, so fashionable and utterly casual. Teamed with a colourful bikini and a flowing sarong and you are good.to.go.

(Editors note: I am SO past the bikini stage. Gigantic pregnancy and 50lb in weight? Goodbye flat stomach and hello wobbly bits that strangely resemble my grandmothers double chin)

One of my old favourite trusty hats, was this one. This is such a pimping hat (can I get away with saying pimping? I'm very white...) and to me oozes sex and cool. This is something I still wear regularly. Always have sweeping bangs when wearing! Trust me.
How can you not love this hat? The good old "Alright Governor!". It's cheeky, and it works well in crazy patterns (as above) or classic tweed. So much fun and I think generally cute. Works extra well if you've got high cheek bones, though if you don't this shouldn't stop you.

I wonder now how many of you cringed when you saw my next choice of favourite hat, but I tell you something. It's not ghetto as you may think. AND you may be wondering how I the lilly white girl could get away with such a hat. Like I said, if you can wear hats you can wear them all. This hat served me well when I was dragged to the clubs with my much cooler counterparts. I looked like I actually fit in! Imagine if you will the Charlies Angels scene when Cameron Diaz is dancing in the club. That was/is me. But with this hat... A whole new world opens up. Anyways, these hats can be fun! With a pair of boyfriend jeans and a emblem t-shirt and there you have it; cool and casual. Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera are perfect examples of women that can pull off this hat.

YeeeeHAW! Everyone loves a cow girl! Here's a little fact about yours truly, I want to be a cowgirl when I grow up. since I was very little that's all I wanted to do. And still do. Totally serious. I envy Pioneer Woman because she is living my dream. Anyways, to the point. My main pair of footwear are cowgirl boots. Always have a pair, and of course, you need the hat to go with them. Most men I know have often said one of their favourite looks on a woman is the cut-off jean shorts, tight white t-shirt (sleeves rolled up!), cowgirl boots and that cocky hat. One of my favourite looks too. I haven't been able to get away with this since moving to England for fear of being heckled... but know girls, In my heart, this is all I wear.

Now now Ladies, don't laugh. The top hat isn't only for men. And I'm not talking about those itsy bitsy top hats. We can pull it off too! It looks funky but you've got to be brave and extremely graceful (long gown, sparkling heels) or you'll end up looking a bit...eh... Butch. This is of course to be worn as an entrance piece really... I wouldn't keep it on through out the event but it's a good way to get noticed on arrival!

And finally the posh hat. The flouncy "I'm going to the horses" hat. And not the Horses USA style, The Horses British style. Where everyone is glamed up sipping pimms and lemonade and holding their wee binoculars. Now, as you know re: my recent post. I love a little bit of fakein' it. I'm NOT generally glamorous (only women with nanny's can afford to be glamours...oh I envy you) and I'm as I previously mentioned...a bit crass. But hey, I'm excellent at pretending. And you throw a cocktail dress and a big feck of hat my way, I'll play the part quite happily! And yes, I'm totally going to Royal Ascot 2010.

Royal Ascot is famous for their hats. People go just to wear big, could-set-a-boat-to-sail hats. It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. The dress code is tight, and if you get entrance to the royal enclosure (which unless you're bonking one of the princes, you won't) you have to dress very... appropriate, shall we say? No spaghetti straps or sleeveless dresses and all skirts must fall below the knee...BORING. Right? So, I'll stick to the Grandstand admission and maybe follow in my girl here's footsteps:

Now, tell me.... Is that not the most beautiful cheese hat you have ever seen?

Demise of the Super Mum - Partie deux

- Yesterday I let my Son wear his Pajamas all day

- Yesterday we did not eat any vegetables

- I let him eat his dinner in front of the telly so I could finish baking cookies...for myself.

- He was running around naked and yelling "Sexy body" and instead of trying to deter him from saying such inappropriate things I burst out laughing...which of course, egged him on.

- I made him walk the whole way to Nursery (2 blocks...not far) because I had to carry loads of bags.

- When I found him smearing his big green boogies inside his Daddy's shoes I didn't try and stop him... Just snickered quietly to myself.

- I convinced him it would be a great idea to play in his crib and constructed him a (thebestever) fortress so that he would be distracted long enough for me to (shock HORROR) have a quick smoke... It was a long day.



P.S. I don't know who drew that picture but is it NOT the best depiction of a mother, EVER. ;)

I'm getting fat.

If I ever say to someone "I'm putting on weight" they roll their eyes. I usually say this in context with something like "This is my third cookie" or "I've been eating so much lately". I get the eye roll because I'm not fat. I'm a size 10/8 (USA 8/6), and I never have carried weight on my face or legs. It's all in the middle, which, when wearing clever clothing, is not noticeable. And I get it, I'm not fat right now! But, you don't understand... I have been fat. I spent most my teens struggling with my weight and then when I was pregnant became properly fat. My Husband nick named me Fatty (I know, I know, you wish he was yours).

So when I start to see a few pounds start coming on I feel huuuge because I know where it leads, I've been there. I've started small forest fires with the friction between my thighs. DO YOU KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO WALK WITHOUT YOUR THIGHS CHAFFING?!?! It's amazing! I wish I'd known this sweet pleasure before. It's almost like my vagina can finally breath.

So here I am again, scoffing cookies and larger than necessary portions of breakfast, lunch and dinner. BLAST. I can feel that old friend called fat sneaking back up on me, and I'm scared.

What I need is exercise. But how, HOW am I suppose to find time to exercise? Really and truly. I'm not making excuses, people. I.Never.Stop.

I wake up, get showered and dressed and then Son wakes up. He consumes my attention and if he isn't consuming my attention I am in the kitchen cooking/baking or cleaning or doing the laundry or feeding the damn rabbit or rushing off to work and then rushing back from work (because there is no time between when I finish work and when I have to pick up Son) and then Son goes to sleep at 7.30 and I have to make dinner for husband and I and then it's 9pm and WHERE DID THE DAY GO?

I bet I could get in some exercise on Sunday, But three days a week?

Anyone? Suggestions? Offers to babysit? Or better yet, money for the new body minus the work?

Cheers.

P.S. Is this like my 2nd fat post in the past 7 days? I'm sorry. Broken record, much? But seriously, I'm looking for suggestions, people.

Ladette to Lady

The holiday's are approaching and I'm starting to think about the up coming parties I will be attending on my Husband's arm.

This mean's frocks and gowns and heels and red lipstick (you know it) and chiffon's and plucking and all about general glamoring ones self up. Now, I'm all up for this, in fact I look forward to these 2 months out of 12 where I can actually pretend to be a lady. You see, I don't get many reasons to wear a glamorous frock and when I do get the chance I like to go all out with the image. Fool people into believing I'm actually a respectable lady who does yoga in her spare time (spare time?!) and would never dream of making cookies just so she could lick the spoon (today is my third day in a row!... I'm oddly proud of this).

But...Well, Nothing speaks louder volumes than a chick wearing a ball gown and chugging down a pint of larger, right?


The thing is, I'm not into wine. I'm actually (and this may surprise you) not a big fan of alcohol. I like a beer, and I like (LOVE. WOULD MARRY) a frozen margarita. But I don't like to actually taste the alcohol. So I've never been a fan of wine and never drink it. It's only in recent weeks that I've decided to bare through it and drink the stuff until I learn to like it.

I've always wanted to be one of those women who can recommend a good bottle of wine and can match wine to food. I need to learn how to appreciate wine and enjoy it.

So I've decided I will buy one bottle of plonk a week, probably chosen from one of Pam's reviews over at Sidewalk shoes. I trust Pam's taste and now technically it's in someone else's court if I don't like the stuff. Sorry Pam ;)

I'll let you all know how it goes. :)

Excuse me while I be crude

I'd like to tell you a story about how when my Husband came home last night he took one look at me and declared he had to have me now. I stunned, pursed my lips and flicked my long silky hair. Before I could even blink or undress My husband rubbed up against me in a fit of passion and it was over....


But now... after my last post I would suppose most of you wouldn't be inclined to believe such a thing could happen within my marriage. Least of all when I'm wearing jeans and a old turtle neck... Well, you'd be right. I did on the other hand amidst making lasagna manage to throw half the lot of cheese sauce into the air, at which point I thought I better catch it and it of course...ran through my fingers and landed down my front. So that when my husband did get home I had a decided stink of cheese about me and his lasagna dinner was a little dry.

So, I didn't get lucky last night.

A crying shame

I think I'm a pretty attractive woman. It's interesting though how my appearance in my Husband's eyes has changed as our marriage has gone on. When I was in my pre-teens I was often liked to the young Christina Ricci. Although of course, minus the Adams family gear.

in my teens and early 20's I was often referred to as a classic beauty. Like the old Hollywood stars.

Husband's nick name for me from the very beginning of our relationship (And even before our relationship began actually) was Foxy. I was a sex kitten. Cheeky, naughty and sexy. I didn't dress particularly reveling (though I am a fan of the short skirt) and I was not promiscuous in any way. It was more my confidence and my attitude. When we married I became beautiful. After I had our son, I was pretty. Now? ... I asked Husband if he thought I could model (as a joke) and his reply was "well, maybe, you're interesting looking" ... to which I responded "not beautiful or pretty?" He smiled and said "no. You've got an interesting look about you". Now, is there any woman out there that REALLY wants her Husband to tell her she's interesting looking? I think I'd rather he had lied. Some how, I went from this:


To this:


In under 3 years.... I think it's impressive... and makes me wonder if I'll look like this: In 10 years.


Let's hope not.

I just can't understand it all though... Since whenever I look in the mirror I have only ever seen, this:

Theta Mom Thursday!

It's my favourite time of week again! In which I recall the good ME times. If you're a Theta Mom be sure to click on the button above and join in with us selfless Mummy's trying to find one hour a week to spend time on ourselves. It's harder than you think... Trust me.

But once again I have succeed and with quite a flair (Two weeks in a row! Can I get a hell yeah!?)

I believe I've almost almost got the hang of this "me time" malarkey and it feels quite good. It also (as they all told me) is benefiting my marriage and the way I am with my son. Patient super mummy returns!! (though I did totally delay getting home last night until I knew Son would be asleep...shame on me!)

Right then moving on to how I completed my Theta Mom Thursday, as I am gracious enough not to leave you on the edge of your seats. Friday evening Husband was scheduled to be "out on the town" with his fellow Directors across London, so I grabbed this opportunity for a classic girls night in. I invited over my work colleague (we'll call her Curls. A close 2nd favourite to Ms Fave...Wot? Yes, I keep a tally!) for pizza delivery, old childhood movies and a good quality bottle of plonk.

Now, Curls and I really get along, we've had a few after work drinks in the past and I really enjoy her company, so I was really looking forward to her coming over and getting to meet Son and show him off a bit. Lucky for me my perfect little 20 month old was on his best show off behaviour. As she walked in the door at 7pm, Son was no where to been seen.

"He in bed?" asks Curls. I smile and simply say "Where HAS Son gone?!", right on cue and looking cute as hell in his insect pajamas and with his ginger hair standing on end, out from the broom closet jumps Son, hands up in claw position and growling like a monster. Peeerfect. And to top it of, as soon as he saw Curls he did his whole big eyed bashful thing, smiled and said "hello". ACK, even more perfect. Curls and Son fell in love and happily played while I ordered pizza and got Son's milk ready. Now... I may have mentioned before that whenever I plan a night in with no Husband, Son always chooses this time to be sick and/or difficult and he ends up staying up late and generally leaving me stressed and with no time to relax. Not this time! My perfect little boy went to sleep with no fuss and a perfect "nite nite mummy" at 7.30 on the dot, showing off what a good job at mummying I'd done! A little bit of me wanted to collapse against his bedroom door and weep with happiness.

But there was no time for that! Pizza was due and there was that beautiful bottle of red wine awaiting me.

As soon as we'd settled in front of the telly with our wine and pizza (yes, we both did totally manage to eat a whole pizza and a bowl of ice cream...EACH) we switched on our favourite childhood movie "Labyrinth".

Now, I hope that when I say "Labyrinth" most of you, if not all of you squeal and clap at the very mention of the movie. Because, hello! What could be a better combination than Muppet's, David Bowie with a mullet, wearing leggings, brandishing a riding crop (I do love a bit of kink!) and crazy lyrics about slapping babies and making them pee. The first half of the movie we both sat silent and glued to the screen and it wasn't until the ballroom scene when the silence was broken with an in depth discussion on David Bowie's bulge, (Please refer to the picture below.) and how both of us could never understand why Sarah turned down Jareth's offer to let him be her slave! ... I mean seriously. If The Goblin King and his cotton clad crotch asked me to fear him, love him and do as he told and in return he'd be MY slave for ever. I'd be hitting that so fast his mullet would be standing even more on end. Our conclusion was, Sarah = fool.

Once the silent was broken the girl talk didn't end. And we discussed everything from parenting and government to periods and pimples. It was refreshing. and so much fun that even when Husband called at 9pm and told me he wasn't "feeling it" and was planning on coming home I demanded he delay himself until at least 10.30pm. Which, as a good husband, he did (I think he went to his office and did some work... I know!).

Curls headed home shortly after Husband got home (who kindly drove her the 4 blocks home) with the promise that we'd do it again soon. And I do hope we do, because I think that was my best Theta Mom Moment to date.

How was your Theta Mom Thursday?

Bloggy Awards

I have been flattered to no end by the wonderful Brittany at Mommy Words who has awarded little me with these two fabulous awards. This made me all giddy because I am well aware that I do not blog nearly enough and generally my post have no focus to them, and I keep promising topic blog posts and then when I turn this thing on I loose all train of though and my muse leaves me.

Also because I'm "newish" I'm still totally shocked that people read me let alone award me! So again, Thank you to Brittany. She is a brilliant DIY-Super mom and also just published a blog post on travelling with kids which I am EVER so grateful for.

The Best Blog Award Rules: In order to accept the award, please post it on your blog with the name of the person who gave awarded it, including the link to the blog. Pass the award onto 15 other blogs that you have newly discovered and think are great. Remember to contact the bloggers and let them know they have been chosen for this award.

The Lovely Blog Rules: To accept the award – post it on your blog together with the name of the person who has granted the award, and his or her blog link. Pass the award to 15 other blogs that you’ve newly discovered and remember to contact the bloggers to let them know they have been chosen for this award.

Now, I'd like to if you don't mind, award 15 of you gorgeous ladies. ROLL CALL!

- Erin at Closing Time

- Michele at Finding Trinity

- Vicki at Frugal Mom Knows Best

- Helene at I'm living proof that god has a sense of humor

- Loukia at Loulou's Views

- Pink Haired Momma

- G-zell at Stay at Home Mom - Who Knew!

- Debbie at Suburb Sanity

- Sophia's Mom at The Whannabe Wahm

- Chelle at The Winey Mom

- Keely at The Un Mom

..... Ok so, I know it says 15 blogs I've newly discovered but because I've been so very out of the loop in the blogging world as of late I have only newly discovered 11 blogs... OBVIOUSLY I need to spend some time blog trolling. Obviously.

Anyways, every single one of these lovely ladies I have been so happy to find. I've really enjoyed reading each of their blogs and they all got me hooked from the word GO.

Again Thank you Brittany and I promise to live up to the awards! :)

The Demise of Super Mum

Yesterday I didn't let Son lick the spoon when making cookies because I wanted too.

Yesterday I laughed when his nursery told me he had been rugby tackling the other children.

This morning Son awoke at 4.30am and I gave in and took him back to bed with me. This means, tonight I will suffer when he refuses to go to his own bed.

This morning I was rushing and did not brush my Son's teeth because we were running late and I didn't have the energy to try and get him to actually brush his teeth rather than playing with the water.

This morning upon leaving Son at nursery after the longest, loudest, whiniest morning ever I was relieved... because I think if I hadn't left him at nursery I would have been considering adoption.

Tonight Husband is picking Son up from Nursery and I am planning on getting "held up" until I know Son is in bed.

Right now I have never been so happy to be at work in my life.

A cry for help

Ladies, you know how once you are on the ball it's easy to stay on it? You're fit, you're healthy and you are feeeeeeeeling good! And then one day, you feel a little lazy. Or maybe you are even sick? You decided not to go for your walk/jog/run and skip the gym/pilates/exercise DVD you usually enjoy doing. Now if you're being lazy, maybe it's because you're on holiday and because you're on holiday there are a lot of high calorie treats laying around... Or if you're sick, someone brings you treats!

Hard to resist.

So you start eating. And eating. And eating... And then you get better/not-so-lazy!! So you can get back on the ball! back into routine!

If only it was that easy.

I'm not a chocoholic, I don't particularly have a sweet tooth and I'm not a serious junkie or snacker. I definitely don't deny myself those things but generally I don't crave them. Until I start... While on holiday there were a lot of baked goods, expensive chocolates, decadent wines and rich foods. I ate them all. And I enjoyed every moment of it. Using the "I'm on holiday excuse" but now... Now I can't seem to stop. I've gained just under 6lb's in 4 weeks. I know it's not a LOT and I still seem to fit comfortably into all my clothes, but when I sit down I can see that spread in my thighs and when I look at my ass I can see how it's "filled out".

I feel a little stuck now and a little afraid. I've been fat (ohthankyou pregnancy) and I got my body back so when I put on weight I feel this drop in my chest of "is this it? is this when I'll loose control again?".

Must be better this month! Must!

I wish I had the time of day to go to the gym or some aerobic classes. I LOVE Aerobic classes. So much fun. But when am I suppose to make time to do that? If I'm not at work, I'm looking after son, and once Son goes to bed then I'm looking after husband by preparing dinner... You all know how it goes.

Chicken Tortilla Soup

Husband made the obligatory English Sunday Roast last night. I don't do roasts. Not allowed in this household. Not because I can't do it, but Husband is very good indeed and making a roast, so why challenge him? I purposely bought a large Chicken though with thoughts of wonderful recipes to use up all the extra shredded chicken I'd have. Always good to have plans for left overs when you're on a budget.

It's widely known that generally for me the easier and cheaper the recipe the more likely I am to love it. Of course, it's still got to pack the punch, but with a strict food budget and and wonky dinner time (thanks to Son) my life is easier if my dinner is. This recipe is no exception. It's what I like to call the cheats way to good Mexican. Chicken Tortilla Soup is my most favourite soup and this one never lets me down. I've made it a few times when friends have come over and everyone always asks for the recipe. Also a perfect way to use up left overs!

Chicken Tortilla Soup
(we usually get 6 bowls of soup out of this recipe)

3-4 pints of water or chicken broth (I use water usually. Chicken broth just gives it more depth)
4 chicken bouillon cubes
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
1 1/4 teaspoon cumin
1 (10oz) can tomato soup
1 (10oz) can diced tomatoes
1 onion, chopped
2 cups cooked shredded chicken.

Bottom and Toppers:
Jalapenos
Express Mexican Rice (I use Uncle Ben's)
Tortilla Chips, crushed
Sour Cream
Avocado
Grated cheese (I usually use Cheddar)
Coriander (Cilantro)

In a large stock pot add as much water or chicken broth for the quantity of soup you need.

Add bouillons, spices, soup and tomatoes (including liquid), onion and chicken.

Heat soup thorough and allow to simmer until ready to serve.

Crock pot: I like to do this in the crock pot, since it's such an easy soup to make (chop an onion, open cans etc. dump into pot, done) I usually put it on in the late morning and leave it until dinner time, that way the onions are softer (but still with a bite) and the chicken has soaked up some flavor.

To Serve:
Place desired amount of crushed tortilla chips, grated cheese and jalapenos in individual bowls, pour hot soup over and top with a spoon of Mexican rice, a dollop of sour cream, slices of fresh avocado and a sprinkle of coriander/cilantro.

Done!