Thursday, 1 October 2009

Mr. "Chilled"

My Husband declares himself one of the hardest people to wind up. He's Mr. Cool.

Except, of course, when it comes to me.

This I find amusing and sad. Amusing because he has SO many tics. Husband is a little arrogant. Which is one of the things I love about him. But also my main cause of strife. He truly believes he is perfect. Which of course means, he does not need to try.

Husband also is missing the part of his brain that allows for sympathy for other human beings. He's not one of those men that gets Man Flu. He rarely gets sick and if he is sick he pretends he's fine and trucks on.

So... Imagine if you will; I'm sick. sick like I am dragging my feet as I come home, coughing and gripping my side in pain, feverish, yet know, GENERALLY unwell.

I won't go into detail, but surf ice to say, husband was mean. This is not unusual. He can be quite intolerant over little things (Like for example, I shut the cupboard door to loudly. This ensues into him accusing me of having no manners and blahblah...I stop listening). So there I am on the couch, dying (right, not dying. but still) and I say to him "please don't be mean to me tonight" to which he responds something along the lines of "I'm not going to be mean to you if you stop being such a pathetic lump on the couch".... I...simply.... sigh. Why did I expect anything else? He is not sympathetic and if anything gets even more irritable at sickness. There was a lot more rudeness in between then and that evening. And I didn't get to bed early because son was refusing sleep...But the worst?

In the middle of the night I awoke from a dream in which Husband was strangling me, so waking up my first reaction is to take a huge gasp of breath which then started me off coughing. And not like normal coughing; like whithering, can't catch my breath, think I might puke, shooting pains through my body, coughing. So there I am at 2am shoving my face into the pillow to try and keep my dying as silent as possible (YES, I know. Not dying...wotevah) and what does husband do upon awaking to discover his most beloved struggling to breathe?

Grumbles. Rolls over. Mutters something about being quite and him needing sleep. and then tells me that if its so bad I should go get some water.

I of course can't agree with him more. I need water! but I'm too busy trying TO BREATHE to get any. Of course, he doesn't offer....Despite me being, you know, married to him and shit. Which is cool, if that's how he wants it. I can TOTALLY stop being considerate and thoughtful towards him... Who am I kidding, no I can't.

Anyways, I eventually managed to claw my way to the fridge for some water and when I came back Husband suggested I take the day off work. Sweet, no? No. He didn't say it sweetly. His tone of voice said "I'm fed up with you".

Fed up with me? Fed up with me because I am sick? It's not like I can help it. Asshole.

There. Spewed it. I've been meaning to say something about this attitude of his for ages. Because, yes, although Husband is pretty darn great, he is far by perfect. BUT because he THINKS he is perfect he is getting less great day by day. If that makes sense? I don't want him to be perfect, because I am not, I just want him to try, like I do. Effort. I want effort. Oh, and kindness. Oh, and his balls on a silver platter.

Disclaimer: Husband is not abusive. He is not aggressive and he is not a bad husband. This post is merely me complaining about the things I feel effect our relationship (i.e. his short fuse) and his faults. Which of course, everyone has. Including *gasp* me. It is my prerogative as his wife to be able to complain about him. You all know that.


Theta Mom said...

They are all the same my friend! LOL BTW, I was looking for your email but couldn't find it...about the age difference with the kids, I actually like it. My son is soooo independent, so he actually was a little helper when she was born, bringing me diapers, etc. He's potty trained (for the most part, I should say...I should post about that drama) and all of that, so I am only dealing with ONE in diapers. I actually can't imagine it any other way. :)

Heavenly Housewife said...

Even my Mr P has his moments where he can be a poo. You know what my theory is? Your hubby is peeved that the focus of attention is on your sickness and not on him.
Unlike us girlies, no man is perfect 100% of the time. They are flawed creatures. When my hubby is being horrid, I tell him I'm getting my new hubby fed exed the next day-- the next day he's supposed to pretend to be the new hubby all nice and sweet lol. And then together we pretend to flush old hubby down the toilet.
Yes, im a weirdo.

JenJen said...

I was not well yesterday. I flat out told my husband:
"I know you don't like to take care of me but if you could PRETEND it's okay for the sake of the kids I'd appreciate it"

Shut him the hell up I tell ya.

Sometimes they don't know they are being assholes. Sometimes you have to feel bad for them cuz they just Don't. Know.Any.Better.

Eve said...

Theta - you've totally sold me on that age gap now :) This is what I was hoping, that Son could be involved and helping etc. But everyone said he'd just be resentful.

HH - TOO FUNNY! I love that idea. It's so cute. :)

JenJen - I'm so saying that next time. And too true!

ModernMom said...

Oh Ouch! Hope your hubby catches your horrid cough and hope you feel better soon!!